Thinking about lesson four

I do miss sex, but I miss love more, making love, the comfortable sinking into someone and feeling how they love me spilling from their fingertips and their lips. There are few men who can express anything but want in the bedroom and I was lucky, to for a short time capture the attention of a man who loved me and could show me, he could make love. He could hold me, make love to me, make me sigh a sigh of satisfaction. I am upset everytime I have sex that I lost that, it's never been close. My friends all talk about husbands not being able to make love to them how they imagine it ought to be and self help books all say that there are not going to be many men who ever give you what you want. What are they doing, are my expectations too high, I want to feel good about myself. Today has been a hard day, 4 called earlier with no idea why we can't continue, why I have 'went cold' on him, I think I will start carrying the checklist around with me and be strict with myself.