3.x

3 called me, he sounded shy. He told me, he had been seeing someone else the same time as me he was "working out" who to take things further with. I was hurt and I wasn't optimistic, I didn't want to be in a race even if I was to win. It's a horrible way to decide on a relationship. So, he says that he really likes me and he really likes this other woman and he thinks it'd be best for us if we broke off from one another. Rejection is a bitch. I wouldn't want him now anyway, not if thats what he does. But I really liked him, he had things I wanted he was good company. I liked him, I was trying to seduce him. At least it makes sense why he said no now. But then you know how men are, take anything going (sigh) maybe there is something wrong with me. I don't want to sleep with anything and give myself the illusion I am appealing but I don't want to be turned down by a good looking guy either, as if I'm not up to standard. It is big hit to the ego when these ugly women at work half of them deformed, all booty or flat-chested are getting it left right and center. The good looking women in my office are sickeningly happily married. I mean barf in a bucket happy. (I'm a little jealous, I want to be a happy wife.) I don't want to make this about sex, its just the surface feeling from this rejection. He made me feel good and he took it away. I am now looking at the messages I got on my personal and its all the same. I am thinking will this ever work, there is a married guy here looking for fun it just feels uphill.

Lesson 4 - I miss having sex.

3.3

So we have been speaking to each other on AIM through our working days. He is cute, he leaves me smileys when I have an appointment. He sent me a song, said it reminded him of me! I didn't like it much, and it wasn't anything lovely like George Benson but its the first time anyone gave me music in the mind it reminded them of me. Its nice to think I am in his mind. What songs remind you of your love?

The Magic Numbers
Morning's Eleven

Maybe you could telephone
Maybe I could meet you in the morning
Call me if you're on your own
And maybe I could meet you in the morning

Ba Ba Ba Ba Ba...

---------------

Review 3.2

Well it all went very well, he came round early. He took a bottle of red wine which was very nice, quite sharp. I was disappointed that he didn't help me with the cooking, but I don't think he has quite the ability to help me. I'm not looking to be helped but sometimes its nice. I am looking to be loved and supported, I can see that he would be a good lover. He has charm. I don't know how well he could support me, it's quite early to say. He seems intelligent, he is clued up in many things I am not. I think he is lovely. So we ate, I am not much of a cook so it was quite a basic pasta dish. The conversation was whippy we had giggles. He has a cute laugh. Even with all my suggesting we didn't skip dessert. He left after a few coffees and a few kisses. He said he couldn't wait to see me again. I look forward to it.

3.2

So the second date, Thursday night. We walked into town and hit a couple of bars, then this little Spanish place that was fab! He looked after me, held doors for me. Held an arm out when we were on stairs. I enjoyed my night, and I can't wait to see him again. My body is starting to want a bit more than it did. I looked through my intimates this morning and I hope some of it still fits. I am cooking for him on Saturday.

2

Ok, I wasn't going to tell but number two. We met at a work networking session, we spoke and joked harmlessly. He asked for my number and I obliged.

Profile - 29, never married; a director. 6 foot 3, slim 150lbs. Short fairish brown hair, beard/goatee, pale blue eyes. He wasn't the most attractive thing I have ever seen, he looked awkward on his feet, like a new calf. Smothered in a suit probably more expensive than my entire closet. He took me to a cocktail bar and I never looked at the price of anything! Our conversation was about work, he is a very intelligent guy but there was no personality.

No fun makes What If a sad girl.

Remember Lesson 2 - Men who are afraid to play and joke really can't have fun. (2 was a blue soul)

Luv

I have found a blog, with two bloggers that make me smile everyday. I think for some reason, they are in love. Its draped in their words, even if some of their words do go over my head, "Genotype"? She sweetens him and he adores her. I want my checklist to give me that feeling for myself, of my own relationship. He should give me things like this. Which thinking about made me a bit teary! But its nice. :D

http://a-moment-shared.blogspot.com/2006/10/first-one.html

Have a look at A Moment Shared. Even the old blogs they have are really good, puts me to shame.

3

So number three. We met online last week and spoke for a day, basically just to exchange photos and arrange where to meet. The feeling of instant was quite exciting.

Profile - 24, never married; a systems analyst. 6 foot 1, quite broad 180lbs. Crew brown hair, stubbled, smokey eyes. He was wearing jeans and a t-shirt of some band I had never heard of. He was hot, like hot when he picked me up I wanted to touch him. This guy was sexy. We went to a little music venue, subdued band and cold beer. Our conversation was firstly about music, I was hanging on every word he was saying. He is a very intelligent guy, people smart too. His SOH was a bit crass at times but he could carry it. He never made any crude remarks and in fact was the perfect gentleman, gave me a couple well observed compliments. I liked our date, it was easy. We are going out to dinner tomorrow.

I was walked home for the first time since prom, I felt very girly.

Lesson 2 - Men who are afraid to play and joke really can't have fun. (2 was a blue soul)

Lesson 3 - Not everything good has to be planned to the letter.